These days we are more brand aware than ever before. We may not all wear designer clothes or drive expensive cars or even eat designer food, but we are all aware of brands and labels. We make conscious and unconscious judgements about people, their identity and status based on the items they use. Consequently, we will then make judgements and evaluations about our own identity and self-worth.

We may also label others and ourselves by traits, behaviours and actions. Rather than look at the whole person and all their good and bad points, a specific evaluation is accorded to their whole being. For example, “He did a stupid thing, therefore he is stupid”. “She broke a plate, therefore she is clumsy”. It is more helpful to acknowledge when we and others have done something wrong or made a specific error. For example “that was a silly mistake” “that didn’t go down too well”, then we can distinguish between the actions and the person as a whole.

Labelling people makes it more difficult to get on with others and causes hostility if we see them as one-dimensional For example “that guy is a jerk”, “She’s an idiot”. I once worked in a company where one of the IT staff made an error that caused the network to temporarily crash, he soon became known as “TITI” (Titty – The IT Idiot). Needless to say this was very upsetting for the individual concerned – he left a short time afterwards. Labelling is more than name-calling; it is mud that sticks.

When directed at ourselves labelling can cause diminished self-esteem, guilt, self-loathing and depression. We will often acquire negative labels in childhood and early relationships; it is important that we challenge and dispel them rather than continue to wear them on the inside.

A useful exercise is to monitor your inner critic; that voice that you hear through the day that says things such as “I’m not smart enough”, “I’m boring and uninteresting” “I’m too old” “I’m unattractive”. Write these comments down and then dispute, challenge and replace them with more helpful and rational statements such as “I’ve learned a lot and continue to learn”, “I am as interesting as anyone; I have my unique style”, “Age is an irrelevance”, “I’m as attractive as anyone”. This takes a bit of effort, but “you’re worth it”. You will feel better about yourself, increase your self-esteem and discard unwanted mental baggage.

Choose your labels with care!

Regards

Phil Pearl DCH, DHP, MCH, GHR Reg

Clinical Hypnotherapist

Mental Toughness, Resilience & Hypnotherapy
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Tel: 020 7467 8548

phil@mental-toughness.co.uk

About Author
Phil Pearl DCH, DHP, MCH, GHR Reg Clinical Hypnotherapist Mental Toughness Hypnotherapy 10 Harley Street London W1G 9PF Tel: 020 7467 8548phil@mental-toughness.co.uk www.mental-toughness.co.uk

This blog is exclusively for men, it focuses on prime needs of Women, Money and Power, or Money, Power and Women (if we follow the sage teachings of Scarface).

This blog also promotes ideas, on how to get more dates, find beautiful women, and “close the deal”

ANYWAY, As I was reading different dating companies, I learned of the Ashley Madison Agency. Ashley Madison is constantly featured in the News media and on lifestyle programming like Oprah, Dr.Phil, CBS, ABC PrimeTime, 20/20, CBC, and Fox Television.  The president of this company, you got to respect his coj…nes, is promoting his business by going to talk shows such as Tyra Banks, Dr. Phil, Ellen, etc.

Their primary focus is to help you “Find an Affair” (they are so serious about this that they have an Affair Guarantee Package (don’t believe me? click below)

They are so sure of their mantra of Anti-Monogamy, that they even tried to ran an ad on the Superbowl (they were banned by the NFL but apparently it ran in Texas (Click here to see the ad)

What I found interesting about their service, is that they are going out of their way to recruit women to their service, really who would go to Tyra for a public lambasting, if not looking for that 1% of women who think the service is not a “Bad Idea”.

Cheating 2.0

The site is designed to facilitate cheating, tech savy users have slick versions of the page on their blackberry and their Iphone, no longer attached to your bulky computer, now you can take cheating on the go.  Given  the amount of technoly that they use for mobility and privacy, this site is really aimed at “under the radar” extra marital relationships. You can read an more at Time.com (I’ll wait)

Here is the Time.com article

Other sites featuring Ashley Madison NPR.com

Advertising Adultery Bad? Lemondrop.com

Los Angeles Times, Ashely Madison Secret Success

CNN (Video)

And much more, this company has gotten plenty of attention, from the media and is one of the most successful sites in their niche.

So there you have it Playboy, Ashley Madison. this should give you plenty of info to make your own decision.

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